Its been a learning process to be able to stand in my truth. I am unraveling what is truly me versus what is everyone else that has influenced me or my life experiences that have influenced me. After my losses I have a greater reality check that tomorrow is not promised. This gives me greater courage to show up as me.
Still a challenge, but I certainly feel I am progressing towards finding me and being able to show up more as my true authentic self in the world.
Loss has made me have to regain trust, find my faith again. Loss has made me dig deep within, it has made me wake up to a new reality and have painfully taught me to let go of the old reality. I have to trust my intuition even if all odds are against me. I state my truth and it is reflected back to me by all those that come around me. The reflection is now their truth mixed with my truth. Their influences in life give my personal truth a different color. Communication is tricky indeed. Thoughts put into words, sentences, paragraphs, etc can be perceived in so many different ways and everyone has their own perception based on their experiences. Then there is the Brick Thought that overrides many thoughts. What is this Brick Thought?
In my reflection and meditations I have found the Brick thought to be a thought that many individuals cling on to as truth even if that individual hasn't experienced it to be true. It is only true because it has been validated by so many others. My truth is often I find myself wanting to fight this Brick Thought. I think to myself if God is all possibilities then why are so many of us hung up on the brick thought and make it ours without experience. An example to me of a brick thought is most of us believe we cannot change people yet the truth I see around me is that we are constantly engaging with one another each day and through this constant engagement we are changing one another. We are mirrors, we are another side of the story, we are expansion, we constrict, we motivate, we doubt, through all this we give one another a different perspective. From birth to death the one constant truth is change.
I remember when I was being told I had changed I resisted this word "change" and rather than a compliment I felt I was being judged. I was unfolding hidden parts of me and shedding more light and the appearance of change to those who did not know my interior self was really just a transformation, a blossoming of me growing in to me, my authentic self. To the outsider I had changed, but to the interior me I was showing up more as me. My truth that were seeds within me overtime, slowly nourished by the invisible elixir, grew and unfolded within me as I journeyed through my life experiences.